It's 6:30 AM. I arrive at the office to find the lights turned off. There's no coffee, so I start a fresh pot. I walk over to the corner and turn the lights on, then settle in my cube. I plug my laptop in and turn it on, then walk downstairs for some vitamin N. The coffee's ready by the time I get back upstairs. I take a sip, fire up Outlook, and start wondering why I'm here this early.

Why am I here this early?!

I have no clue.

Last night I told Bill I would go to bed early. Around 7 PM I sit on the recliner and watch TV. Before I know it I am asleep. Drifting in and out of consciousness, I sort of sense that Family Guy is on. But I can't wake up. Bill wakes me around 10 PM. Lord of the Rings is on TV. I stare at it blankly for a couple of minutes, then head to bed.

At dark o'clock, I wake. Hop on the web, check email, check my bank statement, then feed and poop the dog. I take a shower. A very long, steamy shower. Brush my teeth, have some Airborne, eat a single cube of cheddar cheese. I brush again, and head downstairs to my car.

And now here I am. Why???